Welcome to My New Blog

New Blog
After reading Steph's Xanga, I was inspired to start a new blog. I was looking back on my old xanga, and it was really fun and interesting to see how I used to think, and how I've changed...or maybe haven't changed.

This was my last Xanga post from May 2006 (Exactly 2 years ago!)

"Monday, May 01, 2006
whoa, it's been more than a year since i last posted an entry! (hopefully, i've become wiser and more mature. maybe not. :/) a lot of things have changed, but a lot of things still feel the same. you don't really realize how much stuff has changed until you look back. change is a hard thing to keep track of. you look back upon yesterday, and you don't feel any different; you look back upon previous years, and you question how you became so different. it's funny how your yesterdays, added up, can be so different from your today. hmm, so is there a lesson in all of this? i don't know, but if you want one, i guess i can think of one. live your today the way you want yourself to be in the future, because today will be yesterday, and yesterday will end up being more time than you thought. soon, you'll be the future you, and wonder how you got that way. hopefully, you've changed for the better.
i'm currently procrastinating, and i guess this is why i'm putting up another entry. (hey, anything to get away from homework, right?) (although, if i don't want to be a procrastinator in the future, i shouldn't be procrastinating right now. heh. yes, i admit it, i'm a little hypocrite, but maybe i can change that around.)
so, i guess this xanga blog can also be a time of reflection. i feel that i've grown a lot spiritually this past year, even though the past few months, i've felt a little out of place. but i'm glad to say that the Good Lord has picked me up from out of the depths. (poetic, ain't it?) :D no, what i really mean is that...i'm just glad to be excited to learn about God again."

I should really take that advice about not procrastinating from my 16 year old self.

Aside from Steph's xanga, I was also inspired to start a new blog after reading Jenny Simmon's blog. http://www.jennysimmons.blogspot.com/ (She's the lead singer from the band, Addison Road.) It's just her normal daily blog, but through it, she chronicles what God has done for her, and the amazing things that He continues to do. I thought that was really cool, and I don't want to forget what God has done for me. So in a way, this is for myself.

The End of a Season
High school for me is coming to an end. Thinking about it makes me reflect on the last couple years of my life.

With that said, I can't talk about high school without mentioning Cross Country and Track, as they are a big part of my high school experience.

Last Saturday was my last track meet! It still hasn't hit me yet. But it will, soon enough. I am definitely going to miss running with all my teammates when I go to college. Being on the team has given me the opportunity to meet a lot of really cool people. And weird ones too. Just kidding.

Going back to talking about my last track meet...I couldn't have asked for anything more. It ended on an a high and joyous note. I FINALLY broke 6:00 for the mile! I ran a 5:58.41. (I was last in my race, but who cares? I got a PR!!) It was really cool. Coach Wiencek was really happy for me, and said that I made his day. I thought it was awesome how happy he was on my behalf. It was like he was a proud dad. On top of that, Melody and Kevin came to visit and cheer me on. That was so nice of them. They also snuck me out of the track meet to get Subway. That was even nicer of them.

Looking back on these past four years of Cross Country and Track has made me realize just how much God has blessed me and has been with me every step of the way. All glory goes to Him!

Even as I was reading the Bible the night before the race, I was reminded by God about what's most important. Friday night I was really stressed and worried about my race because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to break six minutes. I know that it sounds really stupid to be worrying about breaking six minutes. But anyone, who has run cross country or track, understands and knows the pressure there is to set a final personal record. Especially if you're personal record is currently 6:02, and you're just seconds away from breaking 6 minutes. Along with that, I was struggling with how to give God glory. Lots of things were running through my mind. (No pun intended.) Am I running my race for Him? (And what exactly does that mean - "to run for God"?) Am I giving Him my all? Will He be glorified if I break six minutes? If I am running for God, shouldn't I break 6 anyway? Or am I selfishly saying that I want to give glory to God, because I think that somehow...by saying or thinking that, it will make me break six? I don't know if that makes sense. But I was really struggling with giving God the glory He deserves.

Somehow, when I was reading my Bible, I ended up reading Psalm 147: 10-11 which says, "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of a man; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love."

Reading that gave me a lot of relief. It was like God was reminding me that He doesn't care so much about my physical accomplishments (the time I run), but more about the condition of my heart. Do I put my trust in Him? Do I put my hope in His unfailing love? Giving God glory, I learned, has nothing to do with running a "great" race.

God wants my heart.

That's what He delights in.

That's the thing that gives Him glory.

And that is all that really matters.

At that moment, I knew that even if I didn't break six minutes, it would be okay. And boy, was that a load off my back. It took a while to get to that point of realization, but with God watching over me and reminding me, I did.

As it turns out, through the grace of God, I was able to break six minutes!! That is, what I like to call, "icing on the cake"! :)